[Serious] What are some red flags to look for in a therapist?

[Serious] What are some red flags to look for in a therapist?

What do you think?

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  1. They don’t remember your name between sessions. They don’t actively engage but make noncommittal noises. They’re polishing their nails or screwing around on the computer when you’re trying to talk to them.

  2. This is a good one.

    If they’ve given mental health or marriage counseling to your family. I had a therapist that did both for my parents and grandparents (all of whom are currently divorced/remarried and very mentally unwell), and he ended up treating me as if I was an extension of my mother, as if what he did for my mom would work for me (although it didn’t work for my mother in the first place).

    And another one: subtly invalidating your sexuality/gender identity. The same therapist once interrupted me after I told him I was angry at my stepmom for being blatantly transphobic towards me. And flat-out told asked me if I was ‘being trans’ to spite my stepmother.

    I don’t see that therapist anymore.

  3. When they tell you that your anxiety isn’t related to school or family or any other stressors you’ve mentioned, but PMS. Especially if they double down after you tell them that you stopped getting your period a few months before the panic attacks started.

  4. Telling you stories about their other patients. And completely misrepresenting (sometimes seemingly fabricating) things you’ve said in their post session notes.

  5. Hopefully you won’t find one. I had a psychiatrist, that decided to rant to me about how gay people are mentally ill. Old fucker didn’t read any recent DSM edition clearly.

    But honestly, follow your gut. Trust is vital, if you don’t trust them and feel comfortable they can’t do their job no matter how good they are.

  6. He: “I work with a lot of sex workers. How much do you think you would sell yourself for? For a night?”

    Me: “(Confused AF) uhh… I dunno, $150,000 dollars?”

    He: “(Scribbling in note pad) well, you certainly have high self esteem!”

  7. When they tell you to make drastic decisions that you aren’t comfortable with, early on in your visits.

    I went to a therapist that told me, after I addressed my job stress, to just quit my job. I told her that while I’d love to, I needed another job lined up due to finances. She kept insisting I just quit. “It’ll all work out” she said.

    Thankfully, I didn’t listen. Job sucked for another year, but I got a better contract one that allowed me to work on some skills and find a job I enjoy (much of the time at least, though it obv has it’s moments).

    New therapist is very new to me, but she’s a lot better.

  8. If they attempt to solve all of your problems for you right away rather than helping you find your own solutions. There is a significant difference there.

  9. I saw one who simply said that I had to “have a more optimistic viewpoint” without knowing much about who I am and what my circumstances are. Dropped her butt after a few sessions

  10. My wife had one that out of no where started recommended crystals and “energy harvesting seminars”. We fired her immediately. She’d been great before that but had recently gone on a long vacation which lead us to believe that she’d joined a cult.

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