[Serious]How did you react to your first experience of the death of a loved one?

[Serious]How did you react to your first experience of the death of a loved one?

What do you think?

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  1. My first loss of someone close to me was my fiance, to suicide. It was a huge shock to the system and hit me super hard. I actually ended up getting a shit load of pets, I threw myself into them completely and felt like they were the only things keeping me around. We hadn’t gotten to having kids and I miscarried after I lost him, another shock since I didn’t even know at the time that I was pregnant, so my pets became my kids. I even named my new kitten the name that we had talked about calling a boy if we ever had one.

  2. It was one of my friends who I had a complicated relationship with. I didn’t cry. I felt guilty for not crying. There were a lot of dreams about her for the first several years but the dreams have mostly stopped now.

    I miss her. I wish we’d had more time.

  3. I was 12, it was my adoptive father (whom I absolutely adored) and I have a history with poor emotional regulation. I imploded and spent a long time lashing out before I did something I will regret for the rest of my life (no I will not share details). The aftermath of that choice basically ‘shocked me out of it’ and served as a wakeup call about how much I hated who I was becoming.

  4. When I found out my best friend passed away, I dropped to the ground and burst into tears and screamed. It didn’t feel real to me, but it hit me the hardest. Walking up to his casket at his funeral really killed me, and I had to hold my sister’s hand. I became suicidal, even more depressed and I turned to smoking and drinking almost everyday.

  5. Strangely enough, something felt off the last time I spoke to them. I know that’s easy to say in retrospect and especially due to the fact they were terminal but non of us were sure when they would pass. I remember saying I loved them when we left the hospital but the words stuck with me. It’s as if I’d never said it before when I had hundreds of times. I even said something to my mum in the car on the way home about it. I didn’t know they were going to die so soon after but I always remembered that feeling.

  6. I was a kid. My dad asked me to come into his room, which was odd because it was really early and normally he would have gone to work already. So I got in there and he was just lying in bed with this neutral look and tell me: “Your Grandpa died last night”
    And I just stood there for a second. Then I just said: “That’s a joke”
    He just said, totally neutral again: “I wouldn’t joke about that”
    So I just stood there for another second and then just went downstairs where my mother was in the kitchen and said: “Dad just told my Grandpa died last night. Is that true?”
    Then I started crying and hugged her really tight which would sound like a normal reaction but I never hugged my parents just like that. So it was kind of a beautiful moment because the sorrow really gave me the feeling of connecting with my family.

  7. My grandpa died of a heart attack when I was 7. I had a basic understanding of death for a kid; “he’s gone and I’m sad and I’ll miss him.” But the night before the funeral we went to this open-casket viewing, and seeing his body, learning that it’s still here but he isn’t, threw me into hysterics. Why can’t he get up? Why does he look so pale? It took me a while to come to terms with that and I’ve skipped many loved ones funerals after that.

  8. I was 18, it was my very beloved grandma who died in hospital a few days after a stroke. They called us.

    My mum took the call, started crying right away and it was one of the saddest moments in my life. Not really because I knew my grandma was dead (she had been 81), but because I felt the deep, deep pain of my mum over losing her mother. It broke my heart that she would have to live with that pain from then on.

    I could not really cope with the situation in that moment, seeing my mother like this. Maybe I was too inexperienced in coping with grief. To this day, I regret that I went to school that morning and did not stay with my mum for a little longer. But I just couldn’t deal with her pain at the time.

    Still: I would do it differently today and stay with the person in pain, no matter how hard it would be for myself.

  9. My Mum died when I was 10 from cancer. I knew she was sick, but didn’t know it was terminal until the last day.

    The pain is still there 30 years later.

    I had very destructive teenage years, angry and depressed, drugs.

    Somehow pulled my life together in my 20s.

    My reaction on the day was absolute numbness, like an out of body experience. The pain came the day after.

  10. The first major loss I experienced was my grandpa. He was already old Around 83 years old. The moment my mother came to talk to me I could feel what had happened. It doesn’t hurt less.part of me wishes to be proven wrong of these gut feelings.

  11. Lots of crying. Disbelief.

    My Aunt (who was like a Mom to me) had cancer. I knew it was coming but still it was hard to see her go.

    It’s been 11 years and it still hurts. I still cry from time to time when I think of her and miss her.

    Fuck cancer

  12. It was a fucked up situation

    2015, I was called out of school early to go home my dad picked me up and I could tell he seemed extremely upset. I kept asking him what was wrong and he wouldn’t answer me. Saying he would tell me when we got home. I dropped I line I to this day think of as a sick backstab by the universe “You don’t have to worry about telling me dad, hell it’s not like someone died or anything”

    We got home and he told me my brother hung himself. I still think about what I said on the drive home to this day and it fucked me up mentally a lot. At first when he told me it was complete shock and disbelief. I thought it was a joke and said “that’s not a funny joke dad”. He was silent and that’s when my heart sank and I said “that was a joke… Right? Your joking. No your joking he wouldn’t he was happy”

    I hate thinking about this. It all feels like a sick prank. But it’s not. I saw his body lay still, I felt that his skin had no warmth. And for the first time ever as an atheist in a desperate moment. I prayed he would wake up. And he didn’t.

    His death took a toll on me as the last time I had seen him I was a demon child. A was extremely bad. Disrespectful and rude and just mean. But over the time that I was gone I had coke a long way. I turned a 180 and became an amazing person who was 100% truthful, respectful, loyal. And best of all. Kind. I was supposed to visit him and I was excited to show him how good of a person I had become and I wanted to give a formal apology for who I was. But I never got the chance.

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