[Serious]What was the best thing you ever learned from a therapist?

[Serious]What was the best thing you ever learned from a therapist?

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  1. That all emotions have their time and place. Also that I can’t control how other people feel. It’s not my job to keep them happy or satisfied. I am allowed to let people be angry or upset.

  2. My worth is not determined by my productivity.

    Being raised by a workaholic Marine and then having a series of nightmare bosses led me to have a severe guilt spiral if I spent a most of day not “doing” something.

  3. People don’t know what you’re thinking or wanting if you don’t say it. If you don’t communicate your emotions and thoughts, you can’t expect people to mind-read, and then get upset at them for not doing what you expected.

  4. That a lot of the things I dread that I “have to do” are completely optional things that I don’t in fact have to do. I remember my psychiatrist listening to me talk about seeing a family member and how difficult our relationship can be and how the holidays were stressful because of the extra time around them, and he just said “You don’t have to be around them.”

    And it’s more complicated than that, most things are, but it was kind of the first time that I started to see that my time is valuable and that I don’t have to do things that affect me negatively.

  5. Masturbation is ok.
    Note.. I was brought up to think it was not.
    Many problems as a result of this but a therapist help me to see that it was very normal and not to carry the fears of others.
    In short, therapy helped me get a tight grip on my masturbating.

  6. The best thing I ever learned from a therapist was how to be more self-aware and understand my own emotions and triggers. This has helped me be more understanding and patient with myself, as well as others.

  7. You can step back and think about your thoughts.

    I know that sounds obvious, but it *was not obvious* to me as an angry, sad, 17 year old.

    Diagnosed with ADHD at 30. That advice probably saved me from making a *ton* of impulsive mistakes over the years.

  8. I think one of the best things you can learn from a therapist is how to forgive yourself. Its tuff out there and sometimes we are tuffer on ourselves than we know. Took me a LONG time to forgive myself in my problems. And take my word for it, after you spend years blaming others (rightfully so too) it can be hard looking at yourself

  9. Not everything is my fault and I shouldn’t feel guilty about things that are outside of my control

    It is okay to get upset when people cross clear boundaries you have set up and verbalized

    Also, not every therapist is going to be a good fit and it is okay to find someone you vibe with instead of remaining uncomfortable

  10. Holding grudges and being unforgiving hurts you more than the other person/people. You can’t experience other peoples feelings. So whatever you’re going through in terms of hate or inability to forgive someone else is purely your feelings/burden.

    Forgiving doesn’t mean you’ll be best friends
    with someone. It means you’ll create the right space and mindset to make peace with stuff that used to weigh you down. Tension is harmful.

  11. You have to accept yourself (the good and the bad) for who you are in order to love yourself and make healthier decisions. It isn’t healthy to complely block out, ignore, or deny those less desirable parts of yourself because they always come back to haunt you.

    But remember that the *good you* is in control.

    Think of yourself as a bus driver with your passengers being different aspects of your personality, each with a different way of thinking and unique emotional state of being.

    Regardless of whether or not passengers are following the rules, it is your job to get them to their destinations safely.

    However, if a passenger is a troublemaker (eg. an aspect of your personality that leads to bad decisions) and tries to take over the steering wheel, just tell them, “I appreciate you wanting to drive for me [fill in the blank], but right now I don’t need you. Please have a seat in the back of the bus.”

    There’s a bit more to it, but this analogy really stuck with me.

  12. Failure is an idea that not all cultures believe in. Native Americans believe you either succeed or you learn. “Failing” is a social construct designed to control you.

  13. You can only physically cry for about an hour and a half… I always held back from letting it all out and having a good cry because I was scared I wouldn’t be able to stop. She told me to embrace the tears and let it out as my body would shut it down after 90 min. She was right.

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