Those of you who grew up with parents that would constantly fight and argue but never got divorced, how did it affect you?

Those of you who grew up with parents that would constantly fight and argue but never got divorced, how did it affect you?

What do you think?

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  1. Anytime anyone yells, raises their voice, or shows any anger, even if it’s not directed at me, it automatically makes me jittery and anxious, and I have to leave the area.

  2. Idk I mean it’s hard to psychoanalyze myself.

    I think it definitely led to some problematic things with anxiety and such…but I think I turned out OK.

    I’ve very much turned into a very non-confrontational person and will avoid arguments and fights as much as possible. Growing up thinking “oh this might trigger a fight”.

  3. It’s hard to imagine that the person I am with actually wants to be with me. You are always looking for or thinking about the future by yourself and last but not least, you carry with you thoughts about what life would have been like had they divorced.

    Also, unless you deal with it and really come to terms with what you witnessed you could easily find yourself repeating history.

  4. I feel very targeted by this question lmao. I think I’ve developed a lot of issues in my youth due to my parents not divorcing. My relationship with each parent is fucked. I have issues with relationships, daddy issues, trust issues, it’s hard opening up and expressing feelings with most people. A lot of people stay together for the kids but sometimes it’s best to separate.

  5. My parents were married for 65 years before my mom passed. She screamed at him constantly. Most of the time he tuned her out somehow. I think seeing their marriage made me never really that focused on getting married as a goal. I never had any kind of fairytale happily ever after dream, because all I saw was misery. I never did marry, and doubt I ever will. I’d much rather stay alone than end up in anything resembling what my parents had.

  6. in my case, it’s faulty coping mechanism during stressful situations. it’s when overwhelming situations got the chokehold on me and then i go /freeze/,,,as if life took a screenshot

  7. I hated arguing to the point of avoiding it in any way possible.

    First couple arguments in a relationship people would notice I just didn’t say anything. I hated yelling, I was confused on how to have a healthy argument and equated it with not loving each other.

    In the positive sense it showed me what not to do, and I just had to figure out how to express frustrations and emotions without screaming.

  8. My parents would do this. They’d occasionally have slap fights followed by not talking to each other for one or several weeks afterwards, then laugh it all off as if things were back to normal (except, of course, they weren’t anywhere near).

  9. Still living in a household like this. It’s not that bad my parents do genuinely love each other and their fighting has gotten less frequent over the years but I still have so much anxiety. I have learned how to read people by how they say hello back to me when I greet them and I have gotten really good at staying out of the way and trying to not escalate any situations. But when people get really mad about whatever I get sort of panicky and anxious

  10. Omg I feel like this question was tailored for me lol. Well I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot in recent years and I think it made me a better person. I always make a conscious effort to listen to what others are saying and try to see all sides of a situation. When I’m having conversations, I’ll make sure that the other person knows why I’m mentioning things and how they relate to what they were saying. I’m always there to give advice but I don’t push too hard and I’ve cultivated this group of people who have the same energy. We’re all just supportive and non-judgmental and willing to listen and have fun. I love my life now. And I think this is all because I saw what my parents had and I knew I didn’t want that so I made sure to change the pattern.

  11. mommy & daddy issues / loud noises or people raising their voice and being mad at me is a trigger. i always think someones mad at me if they don’t show me attention or reassurance that we’re okay

  12. It wasn’t great, but they had other issues that were a much bigger problem for me back then. I did have to become adept at anticipating their mood swings at a young age and had to handle a lot of the emotional fallout myself. Parentification. Not very fun.

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