To what extent is it the parent’s fault that the kid turned out the way they did?
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Wow. You guys are WAY high in your percentages. My parents were shitbags. Divorced when I was 4. Dad is certifiably insane, shock treatments, padded rooms, the whole nine. Mom drank herself to death. I am a contributing member of society despite them. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you make of it. I am the complete opposite of my parents.
Obviously you can’t guarantee that a kid starts out with the same baseline behavior, but 90% of any kid’s behavior is learmed/taught.
I… have no fucking idea.
So, I’ve got some shit. Some weird habits, aversions, preferences, all that jazz. I’ve also got a therapist. She thinks a lot of it could be undiagnosed autism. A lot of it could also be trauma.
How much is me, how much is years of neglect and finding my dad’s stash of child porn? Would I be significantly different if I came from a stable household, or would I be more or less the same guy with a few small preferences rearranged?
Not gonna lie I feel like a majority of the parents fault because actions are learned, either they learned it from you or they learned it from people/things they saw. People are not born bad people, they’re not born to hate or have evil hearts. It’s something learned and it’s something kids watch that they think is OK. You’re not protecting your kids from that and you’re allowing it to happen.
Almost entirely the parents fault.
A huuuuuge amount. As a strong proponent for nurture over nature, many reactions to stimuli begin in utero where a baby can sense certain emotions and the biological response such as anxiety etc. The early formative years are some of the most important for conditioning behaviours and some of the hardest to break out of.
If your kid is happy and successful, it’s definitely on you. On the other hand, if your kid ended up a husk of a human being with emotional scars, totally not your fault, because you sacrificed so much. /s
Nature or nurture… either way it’s the parents fault!
Love the nature/nurture debate. After working with kids and families for over 5 years I’m gonna have to say like 90%-95%.. of course there’s exceptions but parents have so much influence on how a child turns out, and their influence is sometimes not even evident until adulthood. The way a child is nurtured will have a direct correlation to the way they react and respond to different environments.
Biological parents ? 100%. Unless one of them cheated, then thats 50%.
Sliding scale based on age. A 5 year old’s behaviors are almost entirely due to the parents. A 30 year old is responsible for their own life and choices.
Damn, I’m gonna guess most of these replies are from kids.
I’m gonna go with 60% parents fault, 20% aunts,uncles, and grandparents, 20% schooling system/friends.
I’m reading half the comments here with the few with personal experience with shitty parents and I’m starting to feel like my parents were normal in comparison. Y’all making it feel like having one parent with a drinking problem is a normal thing.
Studies of identical twins who are separated at birth and brought up by different families show that they are often uncannily alike in some ways. These similarities suggest that *nature* may have a larger role than we can presently explain.
always, barring mental disabilities, IMO they chose to raise them and the kid didn’t chose to be born.