Were you smacked as a child and what is your opinion on it now as a form of punishment?

Were you smacked as a child and what is your opinion on it now as a form of punishment?

What do you think?

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  1. Yes, quite often. As an adult, I’m not entirely convinced of how effective it is. It seems to be a punishment given in anger, rather than one that is considered.

  2. I remember my mom angrily smacked me in the car at a stop light once. I don’t remember what I was doing but I do remember feeling betrayed. I’ll never forget it. I said “I hate you” for the first time to her after that. We haven’t had a close relationship since and I’m not sure that we ever will, but it’s for more reasons than just that.

    I think any form of genuinely hurting a child destroys their ability to put confidence in their parent and can lead to a terrible relationship. I will not be hitting my children.

  3. I was.

    0/10, would not recommend.

    Be a better parent/guardian. Theres millions (probably billions) of successful adults who were never hit as a child.

    And there are plenty of abusive guardians who were abused now perpetuating the cycle of abuse. Grow up. Don’t hit kids and don’t tell people it’s ok.

  4. I fail to see how smacking a child is supposed to make them respect you *more*. As for other Important Lessons, I just learned not to get caught.

    I once saw a flow chart meant to determine whether spanking was justified in a situation. The question: Is the child capable of understanding that they did something wrong, and talking about it? If so, talk. If not, you’re hitting a kid who has no idea why they’re being hit.

    Final comment: Don’t smack adult children, either.

  5. i was and i used to justify it in the past telling myself that it’s good i got smacked, i learned that things have consequences. but the older i get, the more i realize that it only made me scared of doing things that i actually want. i don’t speak my mind for fear that it will have bad consequences even though it might actually be helpful. i’m still trying to overcome these.

    also, i remember being smacked without actually knowing what i did wrong just like my sisters. it just got us confused and damaged.

  6. i was hit a lot yea. if i had kids i would never lay a hand on them.

    i’m always fighting with my brother and my mom and about it and they’re like “but youre behaving” yea because i was scared. i don’t want my children to fear me. i look down upon people who think it’s ok to hit their kids

  7. I was. My opinion now is that it’s never okay to hit a child. You are an adult who should be a good example to your kids. You are trying to teach your kids not to hit others when they make you angry, but then do it yourself.

    If I ever get kids I will never hit them. I am still scared of angering my dad whenever I accidentally make a mistake. I once accidentally dropped a bottle of water on a table at school, spilling all over it. My friend had to literally tell me what steps to take in order to resolve the problem, because I just froze in fear.

    I want my kids to be able to solve their problems in a good way, and if they can’t solve it they can come to me. They shouldn’t have to be afraid. It fixes nothing.

  8. Yes. I was spanked and so were my siblings. I was also slapped in the face by my dad. It’s not good, and no one should be doing any of that to their kids.

  9. I was when I was young. It only works if you want the child to hate you. From personal experience, as I got older and bigger, I began to lose the fear and act more rebellious. I would go to the point where I would be irresponsible (not cleaning up my own dishes, etc) just to challenge my dad, as if to dare him to hit me again.
    I’ve forgiven him for it, but to this day I think it’s a terrible way of parenting

  10. I was smacked as a kid. I dont have kids, but if I ever do, I dont plan on smacking them. It kills trust between parent and kid and causes anxiety. And what happens when smacking them doesn’t work? Easy to get frustrated and cause more violence. My parents were very controlling, I would never cry or make a face when my mom hit me, so it would make her more angry and she would hit me again harder. Talking and finding the root of the issues and showing them the damage it causes, is a better route. This is just my experience.

  11. My mom spanked me when I was a child. I always felt humiliated afterward, especially if she did it to me in public. I don’t think I’d ever have it in me to do such a thing to my own child. It’s an outdated form of punishment and, in some cases, can really mess up a child in terms of mental and emotional development.

  12. my dad smacked me sporadically when I was on the younger side. Incidentally he felt a lot less violent the more I grew. Interesting coincidence. I don’t think it’s the end of the world that I got a smack on the head a few times. I just have a strong feeling of disrespect for it, because it makes him look like he didn’t know what he was doing, which isn’t how I feel about him overall looking back. I think I had a decent father. In those moments though, he lost his composure, because he was clueless about how to handle things any better.

  13. I was and at some it was beyond just being smacked. My dad once broke his belt on me.

    I wouldn’t do that to any child and I think parents should stop being cowardly and find other ways to communicate with their children

  14. I was. Sometimes it was for reasons, sometimes it was for shit reasons, and sometimes it was for no reason at all.

    I was terrified of my dad growing up, and I resent the fuck out of him now. When he gets covid because he’s a dumbass and won’t wear masks or get his shots, I only hope that he doesn’t give it to my mom.

  15. It just taught me to fear my mother and normalised violence and abuse to me. Like other people said a lot of the time you dont understand what you’re being hit for, so you‘re not learning anything, just getting more frightened and confused.

    I think it’s better to reinforce positive behaviour than punish bad behaviour, when discipline is needed it’s better to use non violent methods.

  16. I was not smacked/spanked and I was a raging asshole for years and years.
    I only spank my kids if it’s a very serious issue that they are not changing from words conversations and timeouts and warnings.

    They say if you spank more than once 2 3 4 etc is for you, not the lesson and you’re letting your frustrations out unjustly. So it’s one and done and we talk about the problem

    My 7 and 6 year old are very well behaved but they still have the free reign on being children.

    There are things you can do and must do before going to spanking.

    I think I would have been a better happier kid growing up if I had proper discipline in my life.

  17. I was, both by parents and at school.

    I think it’s a pretty shitty thing to do. I don’t have any respect for the people involved and I wouldn’t ever do that to my child.

  18. I was until I was 9 or 10. With a hand, a paddle, a belt, a switch off the tree.

    It hurt, but more so, it scared the hell out of me. I suppose I turned out fine, no trauma or lasting effects. But I do not understand why hurting and scaring a small child is a common way to discipline a child. “Oh, you made a mistake? Instead of teaching you why it’s wrong, I’m just going to hurt you until you cry.”

    I never did that to my daughter. It’s absolutely unnecessary.

  19. I was, very sparingly. I think it did me some good. The most important thing is that my parents never did it out of frustration or anger. It was clearly to wake me up and show me the error of my ways. Didn’t happen that often either.

  20. Yes, and it’s played a part in my decision not to breed (I worry that I’d be at higher risk of perpetuating the cycle of violence and generational trauma).

  21. My parents spanked my brothers and I when we were young, but they would always tell us we were going to be spanked and then waited an hour or so to make sure their emotions wouldn’t get the best of them and hurt us more than they intended.

    I think it really depends on the child. My brother responded really well to it, and it was the most effective form of punishment for him. I didn’t. It only made me afraid to talk to my parents about things that I may get in trouble for, because I really hated the spanking.

    As soon as I understood that I could talk to them about it, I wasn’t spanked again. I still have some of the same issues of trust with my parents though.

  22. I was. Very rarely

    And I don’t think it solves anything 99.9% of the time

    But I can get stuck in negative thought spirals and just get stuck and the few times I was smacked it was only just hard enough to snap me out of it

    As an adult though I have been learning far better methods. So while it worked it isn’t the method I would use with my child if I have one

  23. Not smacked by parents, but I was smacked by other kids who were smacked by their parents. Ended up hating everyone for several years until their guilt kicked in.

    I was ready to fight any adult who hit me. My dad smacked me once for sitting while we were working on something, so I just left him there. Never cashed in my “ready to fight” tokens, eventually just left it behind me once I became physically stronger than my parents.

  24. I was spanked when we were really bad and tbh, we deserved it. That said, we were never ht in the face (just the butt and legs) nor has it affected my relationship with my parents either… it was what it was. I have never spanked my kids though. They’re teens now so we juat argue lol

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