What corporate lingo irks you the most?

What corporate lingo irks you the most?

What do you think?

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  1. I recently started hearing “double click” to mean “explore more deeply.”

    “Hey, John, can we double click on that real quick? I’d like to know more about why that metric is down.”

    I physically cringe at that one.

  2. multi-level-marketing. it’s just a way that bogus companies try to dance around the fact that they are illegal pyramid schemes, and they’re “employees” are their real customers.

  3. Circle back. At the end of the day. Deliverables. Chicken-and-egg problem. Take it offline. To clarify.

    And perhaps the most crippling: “that’s how we’ve always done it.”

  4. “Workation”.

    It’s treated as this shiny new thing—”look, you can work from your dream location now”—but in reality it just means slaving your soul out from a pretty place you don’t even get to enjoy because you have to be available 24/7. Drives me up the wall every time I hear it.

  5. My company refuses to say negative things like problems or issues. They day “headwinds”

    We had a big survey and pay was the major factor and our CEO talked about how “Labor pushback contributed to compensation headwinds”

  6. Pivot. Pivot. Pivot! PIVOT!

    Also, looping back around.

    Both are just ways of avoiding difficult topics. Probably the very topics that a meeting would actually be valuable for, even. Instead they “pivot” to easier topics, that usually could have been an email.

  7. “Team Player”

    It is a fancy way of saying you will be taking on more responsibilities than your job description without additional compensation. Learn to set boundaries quick or you will be taken advantage of.

  8. Ooooh ‘level set.’ Had never heard the term even a couple years ago, but now it’s a constant refrain. It’s almost completely replaced ‘get on the same page.’

    Also get annoyed with overuse of ‘stakeholder.’ It’s ok in moderation but don’t go overboard.

  9. Take it offline.

    It doesn’t make any sense to me because all it means is they’re going to set up a separate virtual meeting. It’s all still online. Unless they’re going to come out to my house or fly out to the office during the days I’m there, it’s basically all online. Even for people who still go to the office at my company and who are there on the days I am, it’s almost always a virtual meeting. In person is rare these days.

  10. Hi-pri and lo-pri.

    Just say the whole word — priority. Also, I appreciated the place I worked that acknowledged that low priority meant “version never.” At least you knew where things stood.

  11. The term multi tasking! There was a study done a while ago, the people who touted being good at it were less productive than the folks who fully concentrated on one task at a time!

  12. This might only occur within left-leaning nonprofits/universities, but I really dislike “in solidarity” or “in community” as an email sign off. I believe in the power of solidarity, love it truly, but your email has jack shit to do with solidarity with me or anyone else, it’s just requesting some random paperwork.

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