What do you do if you’re at a nude beach and get a boner?

What do you do if you’re at a nude beach and get a boner?

What do you think?

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  1. You just let it be. You go to a nude beach to be nude at a beach. People will understand and expect to see some erections. If you start jerking it, that is likely not to go over well with everyone.

  2. It’s common etiquette on a nude beach to either cover it with a towel, lie on your stomache, go into the water at least waist deep, or excuse yourself until it recedes.

    Sexual arousal at nude beaches is pretty much frowned upon. Unfortunately it’s not a switch you can turn on or off. You can only take steps to respect the etiquette when you’re caught unaware.

    There’s a reason most nude beaches requires everyone to have a towel on hand for the duration of their stay.

    And to be quite frank, most the erections you’ll see are from first timers, or from people visiting for all the wrong reasons.

    Despite what young kids like to think, nude beaches aren’t Hedonism Parties in the making.

  3. Wrong answers only:

    * Lie on your back and do pelvic thrusts in the direction of the sun. If anyone objects, tell them that the god Apollo is totally into it.
    * Lie on your front and hump the sand. If anyone objects, tell them that you don’t want to grow up to be a Sith Lord, so you’re teaching yourself to deeply appreciate sand. (Apply aloe afterward.)
    * Do jumping-jacks. Have a friend measure your bounce angles.
    * Wade into the water and try to make sexy dolphin noises.

  4. In reality, many colonies offer “modesty towels” especially for younger teens who may not even be turned on but have unwanted erections. Older men will grab one too, just in case. Laying on your stomach works too. At just a beach (not a community) that’s your best option until things blow over.

    A big point of nude friendly environments is to desexualize the human body. America is unique in equating the human body with sex. The idea is that getting people used to casual nudity improves sexual attitudes. And being naked is relaxing and therapeutic in it’s own way.

    That said, having grown up being involved in naturist environments, I have seen too many bad actors. Now that I have my own family, I don’t prescribe to this logic even if it makes sense on paper.

  5. Then you just have a boner on a nude beach. Relax, sit back, and enjoy the sunshine.

    For the most part, everyone is minding their own business on nude beaches. Chances are no one is paying any attention to you at all, and the sight of your boner isn’t going to faze them.

  6. Never been to one but I do know it’s not a good look, unfortunately.

    I did once, however, visit St. Catherine’s with my girlfriend and I just had this raging boner that wouldn’t quit so we went back to the car and she let me cum inside her to get rid of it.

    No reason to lie on here for internet points but that’s how it happened. If you’re alone, just go back to your car and nut, man.

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