What do you think it’s biggest mistake parents make in raising children?

What do you think it’s biggest mistake parents make in raising children?

What do you think?

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  1. Letting them win at everything they do.

    I’m not saying you need to smash your child at every game you play, but they need to understand that losing is okay, and how to handle it.

  2. Doing everything for them and not teaching them skills.

    I helped out but I wasn’t expected to do anything and had to learn most things on my own.

    My parents completely babied my brother though. He feels like he doesn’t need to do anything and expects everyone to do everything for him.

  3. unsupervised, uncensored internet access. so many kids getting groomed and harmed online just because their parents wanted to keep them occupied. and the kids getting devices with internet access are getting younger, my partner’s little sister has literally had a phone since she was 4

  4. Not growing up first. Ther are lots of parents of all ages and backgrounds who are simply immature people. A lot of parenting boils down to, “you just need to be the adult in this situation”. Shitty parents usually haven’t developed the ability to put their feelings aside and be the bigger person.

  5. From my own experience, teaching them to walk and talk. I swear they’d have been a hell of a lot easier had they never learned those 2 skills.

  6. [This recent Plain English podcast episode about anxious teens](https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/plain-english-with-derek-thomp-2175723/episodes/why-are-american-teenagers-so-134315442) had a lot of good stuff, including parenting.

    And it touced on over-parenting. Parents, especially wealthier ones, are having fewer and fewer kids and they are doing more and more to make the lives of those children as frictionless as possible.

    And in long term when a kid never has any stress, never any difficult situations, they grow up incredibly fragile and unable to handle challenges.

    I think it drew parallels to the madness of recent years seen in colleges where students can’t handle anything. The trigger warnings and safe spaces and all are for kids who have never faced a single challenge or moment of discomfort. So when something upsets you, it really devastates your world.

    And it’s not necessarily the kid’s fault, as much as I’d like to make fun of the sensitive snowflakes. They were brought up in a way that specifically made them unprepared for anything unpleasant or disagreeable.

    So, just kick the kids out and tell them to come back for dinner.

  7. * Undoing their mistakes for them and not letting them fail.

    * Not accepting their children can be wrong.

    * Thinking that their children is the best as something and when they don’t succeed, teaching them to blame others (sports, dance, etc).

  8. thinking that just because they raise them doesn’t mean they can’t have different beliefs than theirs, a lot of parents pull the “i don’t know where you got this ideology” card and get upset when an honest answer is given and blame “that damn phone”

  9. Not teaching them about discipline. Not disciplining their children. Allowing them to do whatever they want. Don’t be their friend; be their parent.

  10. Not allowing them to explore who they are or want to be, or forcing them to be who the parents wants or expects their kids to be.

    Let your son wear a dress if he wants to,

    Allow your daughter to play with the little boys as a kid,

    Don’t try to pressure them in that or that career choice

    Let them choose their clothes and toys

    Kids should be allowed to make choices for themselves (as long as it doesn’t hurt their health or others, or put them in danger)

  11. In my parents’ case, not showing enough open love/affection. Growing up in a Japanese household you will never hear the “I love you” or “I’m proud of you.”

  12. Telling them they’re a genius. Almost every parent thinks that about their kid, most are wrong, leaving their offspring with a crippling impostor syndrome when they finally figure out for themselves that they aren’t special.

  13. Gaslighting them. Either consciously or unconsciously teaching them that their feelings are wrong. It’s uncomfortable and hard to watch them be emotional about a “small thing” but if we never validate its okay to feel and express, there are serious issues as they grow.

  14. hello, I work with kids!

    I think calling your kid “lazy” is not a good idea. Whenever you notice your kid being “lazy,” that’s an invitation to figure out what’s really going on. Are they demotivated? Hell, maybe they’re depressed. Do they not understand that their actions could have positive or negative consequences?

    All of those things (especially that actions have consequences OTHER than arbitrary punishments) are lessons that kids need to learn. So if you just punish your kid for being lazy, they’re still going to be “lazy” when they get out from under your roof.

    **At the same time, I have an OVERWHELMING amount of respect for parents. It’s the hardest gig there is.**

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