What is one of the wittiest comebacks or comments you’ve heard that still makes you laugh to this day?

What is one of the wittiest comebacks or comments you’ve heard that still makes you laugh to this day?

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  1. A cook I worked with told one of the waitresses he wanted to get in her pants. The waitress responded, “No thanks, I’ve already got one asshole in my pants.”

  2. 2 kids arguing in MW2, player 1 called the other a fat ass. Player 2 said “Everytime I fuck your mom she gives me a brownie, that’s why I’m so fucking fat.”

  3. “I’ve seen better acting in an epileptic whorehouse”

    “Oh is that like the one your mom works at? Is she still offering the 2 for 1 discount?”

    Saul Goodman to Hank Schrader, BB

  4. One of all my all time favorites is from Winston Churchill, a woman once said to him “If you were my husband I’d poison your tea”, and Churchill replied “Madam, if you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

  5. Heard when I was a teenager:

    Two friends and I were walking down the street on the way to see a movie.

    A boy yelled out, “You three are so fine, I’d f&<k all three of you.”

    My friend Alison replied, “You have three dicks; whip it out. This I’ve got to see.”

    He was shocked into silence. We three just cracked up and went off to see our movie.

  6. My 7yo nephew bought a new hat. Friend of mine told him, “That hat makes you look gay.”

    9yo niece instantly replied, “Says the man wearing TWO ear rings.”

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