What life experience fucked you up the most?

What life experience fucked you up the most?

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  1. My friend suicided in 2003.

    I iDed him.

    I plunged into a depression for about 5 years.

    Failed uni, my self employed business, my night job, ultimately my relationship with my partner.

  2. a toss up between:

    being stalked for 9+ months by someone i thought was a friend


    falling in love with my fwb who said we were only fwb bc he wasn’t ready for a relationship yet but then got a girlfriend while we were still fwb & tried to hide it. found out in an awful way and things ended badly afterwards as one could imagine. i know it wasn’t cheating on me but it hurt me worse than when i’ve actually been cheated on.

  3. Losing a job and being out of work and on the verge of brokeness. No one does (or can) help you, and you enter what appears to be a bottomless spiral of void and quicksand.

    And getting back up, or even hitting bottom is very, very tough, especially without lucky breaks or a good social system and network.

    And it fucks you up, even if and hopefully when you get out of it. It teaches you great things, toughens you and makes you much more mature and competent at life, but still, fucks you up too.

  4. I have had a stepmom since I was 7, I’m 35 now. I had joint custody with my mom and dad/stepmom growing up. I grew up with my stepmom in my life. She was someone I confided in, I trusted, I loved. She had 2 kids with my dad(my 2 half brothers) who I absolutely consider them my brothers. My relationship was never strong with my dad growing up. He was always in the shadow of my stepmom. She made the decisions, she controlled my relationship with him. I did not know any better growing up.

    My dad divorced her about 4 years ago now. My dad is a completely different person. He is loving, caring, empathetic, sooo wholesome, down to earth…my stepmom robbed me of seeing that side of him. Coming to the realization that She controlled and withheld him from me has been really hard.

    I have a 2yr old son now and my dad/his grandpa watches him 2 days a week. My dad is the best grandpa I could ever ask for. I am so glad that I get to see my dad now for who he really is. And I am so glad my son gets to experience it too.

  5. Got beaten up by a group of 20-30 guys when I was 15. Hit on the head with a glass bottle. Stabbed in the back with a screwdriver. Seriously though I was going to die.

    I became overly aggressive after this. Always looking for trouble before trouble found me. Partly as some form of self defence, but mostly as an attempt to soothe my hurt pride.

    It took becoming a dad and quite a bit of therapy for me to calm down.

  6. Giving my son to my mother after my first miscarriage, it just felt like I couldn’t pull myself out the depression enough to care for him. I still tear myself down for that today.

  7. I have so many.

    My mom sold me when I was a kid. The first time it really fucked me up. The second time hurt worse. Every time it happened I numbed to the physical pain but, never the fact my mom was the one who did it.

    When I found out I was pregnant with a girl I cried so ducking hard I threw up 4 times. I was so terrified so body when do the same to her and I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. I want through a sperm donor because I didn’t want a man in the house that I didn’t 1000% trust. I instructed most of my life in the premise of being the best mother my family line has ever had. I have wanted a child since I was a child. Instead of feeling elation when it finally happened I sobbed harder than I had in years. And rocked myself to sleep in complete fear.

  8. Waking up disheveled and feeling like my personal space had been invaded, with waking nightmares of being catatonic, only to realize I’d been getting drugged and raped for months after my rapist described something she’d done to me as if she’d plucked it from my nightmares. Suddenly realizing I’m in peril, thousands of miles from home.

    Realizing I might have AIDS years later and I need to get tested. And I might need to come clean to everyone I’ve had sex with in the interim that I may have caught it from the same rapist I was living with. I later came up negative for HIV/AIDS, but I felt like such a terrible person, that I deserved it all.

    Feeling like they were stalking me. And one day, they or someone loyal to them would show up, especially if I made too much noise in the world.

    It took years of therapy to feel kind of normal again. I sleep, I feel safer, my flashbacks are fewer and further between. I can talk about it. But it’ll never be what it was prior to 10 years ago.

  9. The US navy. I hated it so much that I had to pretend to be suicidal to get out and I immigrated to Canada later on.

    I even created the subreddit /r/regretjoining.

  10. A tie between my first wife unexpectedly passing away when our daughter was 3 months old, and this past fall when my current wife fell into manic induced psychosis and spent 2 months in the hospital not even being able to communicate in any normal sense, while I took on life (and the holidays with two young girls) myself. Both times were incredibly lonely and happened less than 10 years apart. I don’t know what normal life looks like anymore.

  11. Xanax withdrawals; countless nights of no sleep and not being able to think about anything other than Xanax. Had to battle with depression and anxiety after. It took a lot of time to finally come to grips with it, but I became grateful for how much I learned about myself from the whole experience.

  12. My best friend hanging himself.

    I looked up to him as the clever and responsible one of us 2. His suicide caught me completely off guard. Ended up feeling guilty, alone and drained from the last bit of youthfull, carefree energy I still had in me.

    In a way, his passing severed the last ties I had with my youth and forced me to grow up.

  13. Oh god, I have many of those.I think one of the hardest things that changed me entirely was a car accident I had when I was 9, had 2 operations (now I have a metal thing in my head, instead of almost half of my cranium) and stayed in the hospital for several months, almost a year.

  14. When I was 16 my parents came to my secondary school graduation. After the ceremony there was a small reception to take pictures, talk, and say goodbye to teachers/friends which I had to skip because my dad was in such a bad mood and being so passive aggressive that it just soured the whole experience

    When we got home, my dad yelled at and berated my mum for a solid 30 minutes for ‘forcing him to do things he didn’t want to’ and how it was selfish of us for making him go.

    My dad and I don’t have a good relationship and I’ve had a lot of similar experiences with him (including me coming out and him screaming about how it was wrong while openly trying to manipulate my mum onto his side when she was accepting), but out of everything, that graduation incident still stings like a bitch

  15. Losing my libido entirely. I used to be very open about sex and loved being in relationships, etc. I don’t know what caused it but it sure threw me into deep depression and I still feel broken. I miss feeling horny, it made everything so much more exciting.

  16. Real estate. The level of scum and villainy and also the reality of life you are exposed – tradesman, agents, banks, etc- it changed my dna

    You are literally a revenue stream for 1000 people when you buy a house and renovate it. Beyond that no one gives a shit about you or your project.

  17. My brothers death. It has been 20 years and I am still not ok with it.

    The second one was not getting help when I first realized I was severely depressed.

  18. the time one of my ferind invited me over to speak to “bob”, “bob” have attacked my dad because his GF spent alot of time at my dads place, and then “bob” tould me to call my dad and he also said something about knowing my mother and sister’s addrass, and bob also wanted to get my phone number so when he calls one day he want me to drive with him to my dads place and drop me off and pick up my dad so they “can have a talk”

    I for some stupid reason he also said that my dad was in to cp and selling hard drugs to “kids my age” and i just thoght “yeah right sure bud”

    and he finished it all off with me telling not to call the cops on his ass,
    but i didn’t, but krama would have it, his ass have been locked up for life, but it still fuckes me to this day and MAN what i wouln’t give to just punch “bob” in his face

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