What was the craziest (non-sexual) thing that a teacher ever said in your class?

What was the craziest (non-sexual) thing that a teacher ever said in your class?

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  1. “Taxi drove off while I was trying to release my hand from the handle. My ring got wedged somehow and I could not get it budge. The taxi driver wasn’t paying attention and only heard the door shut, and start driving off… and that’s why I only have 9 fingers.”

  2. I went to a different kind of school… but one teacher would talk about how when he was in college if he got too drunk he would break into peoples cars at the bar and fall asleep in their back seats until he sobered up, and he graduated from Yale in the 70s. He would also go on long rants about LSD.

  3. UPC bar codes are evidence that technology is the work of the devil, and therefore everyone who shops at the local grocery store will go to Hell.

    That was ’85, give or take. The building burned down about 30 years later.

  4. A teacher tried to teach us the world was flat.

    She was an English teacher, so I don’t even remember how it came up. But she went on for two days about it. Then the weekend came, I assume, someone talked to their parents about what we learned in class and they talked to admin… because Monday she made some weird statement about how “we shouldn’t believe everything we hear, like, about the world being flat” and then refused to ever say anything on the subject thereafter.

  5. Ending a pretty interesting 45 minute lecture with “okay, so now you have the background to understand the next lesson, you don’t need notes from this, it won’t be on the test”. Wish he said that at the beginning, before I wrote down over 5 pages of notes and had cramps in my hand.

  6. 1. Yall are the reason I go home and yell at my family (10th grade )

    2. Cant wait to see yall standing at Walmart begging for some change when I drive by (7th grade)

    (I was a good kid and just happen to be jn the same classroom)

  7. “I know it’s only your first day, but I’m going to teach you one very important piece of advice that you can use throughout your entire life: If you’re going to bury a body, cover it with lime.”

    He never explained why, or even what type of lime we should use (I assume he meant the powdered kind for gardening and not the fruit that pairs well with lemon) but I guess I will always wonder if that really would keep you from getting caught somehow. I don’t want to google it because I am not a murderer.

  8. In the 12th grade my music teacher told us during choir practice (all ladies) about how when she was in university her dorm roommate had tried to wax her own private parts by herself and accidentally sat on the bath tub while there was still wax on there and effectively glued herself to it. Getting her off the bath tub was a long and painful experience and she ended the story saying “some things are worth paying the money to have a professional do it for you”

  9. It’s funny that you asked since I was just thinking about it when saw your post.

    So there was one crazy music teacher in my school who was apparently some kind of a cultist / sectarian. And I’m being dead serious now when I say that. Just so you know, she “donated her house for the good of the church”. But believe me it wasn’t the weirdest thing she told us.

    We once where talking about our plans for the next weekend and she said that… “Do you know what saddens me the most? My 8-year-old grandson doesn’t want to go to church on Sundays. But I know those are demons, which he is possessed with, always make him say that. So I lie that we will go to McDonald’s to make him pray for his life.”

    She was also very aggressive and physically abused her younger students. No wonder she got fired in the middle of the school year.

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