What’s your favourite anti-joke?

What’s your favourite anti-joke?

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  1. A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist’s office says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”

    The moth says “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good.”

    And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”

    And the moth says, “Because the light was on.”

    – Norm MacDonald

  2. Why did the chicken cross the road?

    The road knows what it did, it can’t even be mad at the chicken for crossing it. If it could take back what happened between the it and the chicken’s sister it would, but things got away from all three of them really. Some days the road had the bravery to apologize, but more often than not the chicken wouldn’t be anywhere to be found.

    One day the chicken decided he’d spent enough time simmering and had to do something. He stole his dad’s old 44, the one he used in the war, and set out on what would be the bloodiest, tarriest day of vengeance and bloodshed to come across that stretch of 30.

    It was a cold morning. The kind where the chicken couldve his breath, if he weren’t holding it. He snuck up, closer and closer. First the ditch, closer and closer. The shoulder. Closer…

    The road never saw it coming. Truly, it had never been crossed in such a brutal manner before.

  3. A duck walks into a pharmacy and says to the man behind the counter, “Do you have any ointment? my beak is very chapped” the man replies “we have nothing for ducks here.”

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