What’s your greatest dark humored joke that made everybody fall silent?

What’s your greatest dark humored joke that made everybody fall silent?

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  1. Two friends are talking on a bar. One said he went to the whorehouse the other day and they had a girl that sung a traviatta while giving you head.

    Intrigued the other friend goes there and ask for the girl, they lead him to a room, it only has a chair and a night table besides it with a lamp on top of it, the prostitute comes in and tells him she is very shy so she is going to turn the light off.

    The guy dont like that but he wants the singing head so he agrees, she kneels and start to suck his cock, after 3 mins she starts to sing, perfectly not muffed at all, you couldnt tell she had a cock in her mouth. The guy thinks its impossible and needs to know the trick, curiosity overcomes him and decides to turn on the lamp, the first thing he sees is an eye cristal next to the lamp…

    Love this joke, because the one that tells it its the one having fun watching the confused faces and then the disgust when they realise.

  2. 8th grade, we were in student council planning our last middle school dance

    Mrs. Dana: well gang let’s take recommendations what schools should we invite?

    Danny: possibly presidio hill?

    Roz: how about stern?

    Me: what about Catherine De Mar?

    Mrs. Dana: wait that’s an all girl school.

    Me: uhh… yeah….

    (Silence for three seconds before total chaos and laughter)

  3. If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions off mosquitos needlessly dying of aids. Jimmy Carr.

    Katie price and Dwight york are fighting over custody of Harvey their son. The losers got to keep him. Frankie Boyle I think.

  4. If the conversation trends sexual and somebody says something about wearing a rubber or getting an STD, I usually tend to say some variation of, “I’m not worried about it, the good news about AIDS is that you can only get it once.” I’m 37 and single. If people ask why, I like to respond that my wife hasn’t been born yet.

  5. Me and a friend were driving through a town in Minnesota that had a Planned Parenthood connected to a Chipotle.

    Friend: “That’s a weird combo of businesses.”

    Me: “Chipotle is brilliant though. A lot of people leave Planned Parenthood with an empty stomach.”

  6. Meant to be humorous but wasn’t received well at all. driving to a meeting and I walk in we are all there except my boss. Other manager asked where he was and I said “idk he was driving in separate bc he wasn’t feeling well, I hope he’s not passed out over his steering wheel clutching his chest on the side of the road” entire room fell silent and one manager stared at me then said “you scare me sometimes”. I have very satire humor and joke about death/misfortune often 🤷🏻‍♀️

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