woman of reddit how do you leave an abusive relationship?

woman of reddit how do you leave an abusive relationship?

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  1. I ghosted. Acted like I was going somewhere and never came back. Slowly and secretly pack all your shit up, put it in your car, act like you’re going to work and just don’t come back. Even if you have no where to go. Sleeping in your car / on the streets is better than being abused.

  2. I know the question is directed at women but as a man who has been the victim of domestic abuse I feel the exit is similar.

    Make a plan. Tell your friends and family, it’s gonna be tough but you need a support network. Be prepared to lose friends as some will side with the abuser, they know how to manipulate people. Also be prepared for the fallout afterwards. I spoke to HR at work and my landlord, both of which officially trespassed her from the property because she threatened to go to both. I didn’t have social media but I’ve gone through 3 Reddit accounts. Had to block several numbers from my phone almost needed a new number. Got a new email.

    You might need to pack a bag and leave when they’re gone if it’s really bad. Get into therapy because you need to heal. Mine still spreads rumours about me and it’s been at least 8 months. You’ll move on. Don’t blame yourself. Learn the lessons and see where you went wrong so you don’t do it again.

  3. It is important to remember on average it takes seven attempts to leave any abusive situation. So, never give up and keep trying. It’s important to lean on your loved one’s and friends. Reach out to those, even the one’s you haven’t talked to in awhile. There is always someone willing to help.

  4. It’s not easy. Especially if you don’t have a support group or if you have kids or a pet.

    There are support shelters that will help you come up with a plan. Call them first, they have experience with this.

  5. Have a support group. If you dont have One, look for a women support group in your area. Grab all the money you can and essencials abd move as dar as you can

  6. Been there. 12 years ago now.

    This is how I got away. I hope it works for you too.

    Start by reading ‘Why Does He Do That?” By Lundy Bancroft. It’s the first step to understanding what you’re dealing with.

    Then, get a support system in place. A couple of people who know what’s going on and your intention to leave. Make a plan: somewhere to go, line up a job if you don’t have one, and pick a time when he has a trip planned to make your exit.

    Save as much money as you can, while you wait for an opportunity when he will be away for a while – for me it was three days but even 12 hours could be ok. When he leaves, get your shit and get out. Go somewhere safe, preferably an apartment you have set up, but a friend’s house, or women’s shelter will also work.

    Cut off contact. Change your phone number, get a new email for important life things, delete him on social media and ask your friends to do the same. Document everything he sends in writing, especially threats. Record voice memos if you answer a call from him. Record any interaction you have if he approaches you in public or where you’re staying.

    It can be extremely scary and stressful. But it is so, SO worth it.

  7. My ex used to beat me and my son, my son was 2 at the time and he would be him if he didn’t go to sleep straight away or stupid things like that and with me, it was when he was drinking.. he would get drunk to the point he didn’t know who I was and would bitch about me to me thinking I was another lassie while attempting to fuck her (me) this was an 18month relationship..

    One night my son was staying out with family and he had got drunk and locked me out the flat while him and my mate were inside.. when he finally opened the door, she bolted into the bedroom and locked the door and he pulled me in the door by my throat.. something within me snapped that night and I was punching him, he started crying in the corner and I stopped at that point laughing. He called the police, we both got lifted and released without charge because he couldn’t keep his story straight and they sent him back to his mums.

    I know this wasn’t the answer you were expecting but the point I’m trying to make is every exit out of these relationships are different, sometimes there isn’t an easy escape and it takes something drastic to give you that chance.

    I hope you’re okay🥰

  8. I was in a very abusive marriage. I slept with a knife under the covers for nights she would come home in rages drunk. I waited until she left for work one day, packed up everything of mine I could fit in my car. I left anything that couldn’t and chucked it up as a loss. I sat in my car and filed for divorce online, drove off and never looked back. Blocked her on everything including texting and did all the proceedings through my lawyer or had my mum help it was tough but the life I’ve gotten to live after her is so eye opening to how bad of a situation I was really in.

    I hope you get out. Safe. And alive.

  9. Helped out a friend once in a situation like this. We planned for her to move into our spare room. Planned a strat to get her stuff into her car and mine. Waited for him to leave the house she was in a booked it. We brought her to a home in a calm neighborhood. We had a gun in the home and a few baseball bats. He did come to the home (at 11pm) but we refused to let him in or let her go out.

    Tip: do not open the door an call the police if they refuse to leave. This didn’t happen for us but I did open our main door to talk with him and he already opened our glass door- I was dumb for that but he left with no fuss and didn’t come back thankfully.

  10. If in the us, most cities have a domestic violence crisis center, victim advocacy group, or family crisis center. They can help with some of the logistics of getting you and your kids out (if you have any) out of the situation. Just don’t leave the kids behind.

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