Women of Reddit. How would you react if a stranger your age approached you and said: “Excuse me, are you busy? Would you like to get a coffee?”

Women of Reddit. How would you react if a stranger your age approached you and said: “Excuse me, are you busy? Would you like to get a coffee?”

What do you think?

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  1. My reaction would be based on whether or not I find him attractive. He obviously liked what he saw. That’s how people ask people out, in reality. It’s a bit odd he didn’t chat with you a bit before asking you out, though.
    I’d either be annoyed or flattered… depends on the guy.

  2. I’ve never had a woman agree to go anywhere with me when I ask them, even if I chatted with them beforehand or attempted to befriend them, so I don’t know what that’s like OP, for a woman to agree to a date or to go hang out with you. The majority of them in my experience never want to do anything or go anywhere. It leads me to believe I’m either hideous or just completely unappealing.

  3. As a guy, honestly if anyone you aren’t friends with or not mutual with them asks you to have coffee, can come off as unintentionally creepy in the perspective of a women because they might as well be approached by someone threatening. In the perspective of a guy it just comes off as really fucking weird and leads on to the topic of “ why the fuck are you talking to me? I don’t know you” and be on their way, with possibly a visible face of being weirded out or just very cautious

  4. Just don’t ask man. I know that sounds sad but you’re better off not asking, easiest way to have unnecessary negative public attention to yourself when she almost inevitably makes a loud ordeal about it for purpose of people hearing her

  5. I’m married, but thank you for the offer

    If they say no, move on. Pushing it will make you creepy/irritating. The stereotype that a no is only a no after hearing it three times is just that, a stereotype. And if the girl really does subscribe to that philosophy, you want to run far and fast anyway. Just take the no and move on with grace. If nothing else, you’ll create a good impression with other women who are watching (trust me, we watch, just in case it is someone who is going to get creepy) and you’ll have a better shot if you happen to approach one of them in the future.

  6. I remember reading this thing once that said ‘the difference between a person finding you creepy or cute is the degree to which they find you attractive’. I sense that plays into your question somehow.


    But seriously, I’ve watched enough Forensic Files to know you don’t go with a stranger to a second location without getting it know them first. And sometimes not even then. Sometimes *especially* not even then.

  8. i’d think they were a serial killer or something.

    A) No one’s that polite.

    B) people my age don’t want anything to do with me based on my goth exterior alone.

    But i’d give it a chance for curiosity’s sake if they were reasonably attractive.

  9. I’d say “sorry I’m running late right now” and give him a giant smile so he doesn’t think I’m saying it in a mean way and rush off like I’m trying to get somewhere on time before he has time to say another word.

    I try not to give the guy much time to think wether I turned him down before I leave.

  10. I would smile and thank you, declining because I’m happily married, but I’d also be a little thrilled to think I haven’t lost it all.

  11. This is the wrong way to approach a woman. 1. Whether or not she is busy has nothing to do with the matter. 2. Not a whole lot of people would wander off with a stranger to get a tasty beverage. 3. There’s no consideration for the fact that if this person is out and about and running into strangers, then yes, they are probably busy. 4. No introduction. 5. Curious about ‘busy’ status, but not about relationship status – some people are involved, but not married and don’t wear a ring. 6. Would you wander off with a stranger for drinks? 7. You have no idea if this person is remotely worth taking the time to have a coffee.

    I could go on, but here’s this internet stranger’s $0.02.

  12. I’d get scared and leave the situation asap tbh 😅
    IF I found the person attractive and they came up and had a nice “get to know you” conversation before that I MIGHT consider.

  13. OP don’t do this to women, please. At least like have a convo or something. Guage interest, if you hit it off then sure, but just going up to women without any other commonality like this is creepy.

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