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[Serious] Specifically to the redditors who don’t want to have kids, what are you reasons for not wanting to?
[Serious] Specifically to the redditors who don’t want to have kids, what are you reasons for not wanting to?
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The world is fucked and I don’t see it getting unfucked any time soon
I just don’t. That’s a good enough reason. I have no urge to, I don’t have any parental instinct, never have had. I like kids, even, but I don’t want one around 24/7.
There are other reasons too, of course. I like my life as it is. I like my things, my solitude, my freedom to do things as I please. I don’t like noise, I hate being sleep deprived and I’m not particularly a very caring person. Also, there’s no denying that the world isn’t going to be any better for many of us so bringing more people into the future generation seems a bit grim. But this has become one of my reasons only as of late.
I asked myself one time “why do i want kids” and failed to come up with a satisfactory answer.
can’t afford them
This curse must end with me
I’m way too selfish to make a good father.
1. There are some health issues that run in my family I don’t want to pass on.
2. It’s expensive and I don’t want that cost obligation.
3. With climate change and political uncertainty I wouldn’t want to responsible for creating a being to live through that.
4. I enjoy the freedom of not having children so I can do things like leave town for the weekend on a whim without having to find a sitter.
5. There’s already way too many unwanted kids in the foster system. If I ever do change my mind I’d much rather adopt and improve the life of a person who already exists.
they’re loud, stinky, make messes, erase bank accounts, suck the joy out of life
constantly out growing clothing
having to deal with other [redacted] parents
the constant worry about their health and future
nah, miss me with all that
I don’t like kids.
Mental illness in my family. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Couldn’t live with the possibility that it’d affect my potential children, and their families by extension.
As a female, the absolute pain of childbirth is horrifying to me.
Poor genes, and I’m emotionally/ financially unstable. I also feel it’s sorta unethical to create a new life when the state of the world is such as it is. I wish I hadn’t been born into it, I’m not gonna force anyone else into it.
I never felt the urge to become a father. Also, taking care of myself and my cat is enough. A child would be more responsibility than I could possible handle.
I think I can’t give them what they need. That I will fail in raising them and ruin their life. So I thought its better to not have kids. For now I don’t ever want kids, but maybe I do want them when I’m mentally better and when I have a steady income.
Also with the house market and all the prices these days I just think I can’t feed them enough and theyll grow up poor. So I think this is the main reason
I’ve just never woken up thinking “I *need* to be a mom”.
I don’t think parenthood is something you should do as a routine. It should be something you deeply want. It’s so hard, I can’t imagine going into it indifferently.
I’ve met kids before, didn’t enjoy it.
I also like having money and free time.
Economy, inflation, sex trafficking, abuse, I know I won’t be able to send my kid over to their friends out of fear they won’t be mishandled by someone over there, increased depression rates, suicides, risk for mental illness, not to mention my own personal trauma, history of eating disorders, low self esteem, I do not want any history of that seeping into my children’s lives and poisoning them, even if it’s unconsciously. When my depression is bad I don’t want to talk about how bad my lack of cleanliness can get, and as much as I hate to admit and I feel horrible that I have made my animals skip a meal or two because I couldn’t work up the motive to feed them. The world is going to shit, most of our generation isn’t even going to be able to afford housing, depression and suicide are only going to spike even more and if my mental health deteriorates again I am not capable of taking care of an extension of me.
Less childhood trauma and I might have considered it. Instead, it took over 30 years to recover from complex PTSD, anxiety and depression. Now I’m heading into my 40s, mentally well, financially stable, and satisfied with my quality of life, it’s too nice to want kids in the mix. I prefer having pets.
I feel like you should be enthusiastic about it and I never was.
Don’t want to pass on bad parenting habits from *my* parents.
Don’t want to pass on various health issues
I’m too selfish to have kids if I bring kids in the world I feel like a bad mother putting my kids into this shitty world with shitty things.
1. I don’t feel ready for that kind of responsibility
2. I’m very pessimistic about the state of the world and wouldn’t want to bring another human in it
3. I’m emotionally not well
4. I’d like to live life for myself (and my girlfriend, if I ever get one), not for a child I’m obligated to care for
5. I doubt I’m able to financially support a child
Terrible father figure, I know I cannot be one. I know I’d fuck up my kid like my dad did me. Cycle ends one way or another.
i have a serious mental illness and would not be a good mom.
The process of getting pregnant is a bit beyond me as an asexual lesbian, for one thing. I like my space, and my quiet, and once a year to travel to exotic places that I fund with my full time job.
I’m also very tired a lot of the time. I don’t know if it’s *a thing*, but I physically couldn’t do what my brother and SIL do – they’ve got multiple kids already and another on the way, and the kids are exhausting. Don’t get me wrong I love the kids to pieces and would walk through fire for them, and enjoy taking care of them and being the fun aunt for a day. Maybe a weekend. But more than that? I’d be so tired I couldn’t begin to take proper care of the nippers.
And most of all, I’ve not got even the slightest urge to procreate. Biologically, even, I got nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. File not found.
They are annoying, expensive, and I would have to mold my life around them, instead of doing whatever I want
I don’t want kids.
Thats the reason.
I think the more pertinent question would be, why on earth would you want kids?
Having kids should not be a life goal.
The idea of the physical pregnancy and birth freaked me out.
Not enough income for how I’d want to raise a child.
I knew my then husband wouldn’t be a good dad.
Most importantly, I’ve never ever wanted children.
I feel like I would be a bad dad, and that’s just not fair to a child
It’s hard, boring and leaves no decent options to rollback at the same time. Why on earth would I screw my life for something like that. I’ve never been able to understand everyone’s urge to reproduce, for me it’s a weird hobby close to Idk owning a husky in a small city flat: yes, you can do it, but why would you? Never felt anything like that myself, so I guess I’m simply not a parent material all in all.
I cam barely take of myself let alone a child lol. Also the world’s fucked and bringing a child into it just seems unfair
I can’t even take care of myself let alone a kid, The thought of someone needing 100% of me for their survival scares the shit out of me. Also, I am very emotionally distant, and my overall patience is thin. I know for a fact that I will be a toxic parent and it is not fair to them.
Another thing is being pregnant itself. I had nightmares when I am pregnant and it is not something I want to experience in real life. Your body never really recovers from it.
Also, I just don’t like kids. I’ve never had any desires for them and if anything, they irritate me. Though I don’t make it obvious to them, I never understood those who are blatantly rude or glare at them.
I’m far too selfish. I don’t want to sacrifice things I love and enjoy to benefit others.
Because there are already too many in the world, most of them don’t live a safe childhood
Want to be able to enjoy my life/travel without the responsibility of taking care of a little human. It’s just not for me
They are expensive, future generations will have a harder time as population grows with current worldwide circumstances, I don’t have the time, I don’t have the energy, I don’t have the money
For me it’s more of not capable then not wanting to.
The idea of a kid isn’t half bad to me.
But,
I have social and general anxiety from emotional abuse back in high school. I also have Autism.
I’m not good at communicating, even phone calls from friends are a huge task.
I get headaches when situations get too loud, stressful or busy.
And God have mercy on me when i dare to go to any kind of shopping mall. I will get dizzy, nauseous and my vision becomes blurry.
I once nearly fainted during a baby shower.
If i can’t function in everyday society how will i ever take care of a child?
[leaving out what’s currently going on in the world]
Background:
I never wanted to have kids, even when I was a child myself and everyone played with baby dolls, I just played with stuffed animals instead and put them to bed and so on.
Reasons:
I mainly think it is out of fear. Will I turn out like my father? How will my parents behave as grandparents? Taking a look at my parents and my uncle and even going further back in time (like my grandparents and great grandparents) there is a pattern of abuse. I do not ever want to risk this. I’ve been through to much and just the slightest possibility of this pattern carrying on is not worth the risk.
Another part is that I have multiple chronic illnesses. With one of them there’s a 50% chance of passing it on to my child (for the others I’m not sure). It’s a painful one, no cure available, treatment options limited.
I cannot afford kids and even if I could I would rather spend that money on myself and my partner.
I do not have patience for children in general and do not like them, and I don’t think that would change much if they were my own. As such, I don’t want to subject a child to that.
I have a genetic condition that I do not wish to pass down.
Those are just three reasons, I have several more.