The Portrait Artist

A local Irishman was making quite the name for himself as a portrait artist… His fees were very reasonable and the Locals kept him busy…. One day a stretch-limo pulled up and a beautiful woman exited the car…. “I will gladly pay you 10,000 Euros if you’ll paint me in the nude.”…. The Irishman had never been given such a proposal for his work… “One moment as I will have to talk this over with me wife.”…. Inside the house the painter and his wife talked it over and decided it would be OK… The painter returned to the Beautiful lady and said.. ” I will paint you in the nude but I must leave me socks on so I have someplace to wipe me brushes.”

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  1. An Irishman, Paddy O’Rourke, goes to his priest for confession.

    “Father O’Brien I have almost committed the sin of adultery.”

    Father O’Brien: “What do you mean almost?”

    Paddy: “Well, I went to my neighbors house to see if he wanted a wee drink at the pub, but he was not home, but his beautiful wife was. We got to talkin’ and she started to kiss me and before I knew it our clothes were off. I then put the tip of my member in her, but I started thinking of my friend pulled it out, got dressed and left.”

    Father: “Oh Son, putting it in a little bit is the same as putting it in the whole way.”

    Paddy: “What’s my penance Father?”

    Father: “I want you to say five Hail Mary’s, ten Our Fathers, and put 20 pounds in the church donation box.”

    Father O’Brien watches Paddy leave the confessional, go to a pew near the donation box and begin to pray. Once Paddy is done praying he stands up, takes out a 20 pound note, puts the bill halfway in the box, pulls it out, then puts it in his pocket and begins to leave. The Father yells at Paddy, “I told you to put 20 pounds in the box!” Paddy responds “Oh but Father putting it in a little is the same as putting it in the whole way.”

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