There’s an English man, an Irish man and a Scots man…

They’re all stranded on this Desert Island. The cannibals come and say “right you’re coming back with us and we are going to skin you and turn you into canoes”

So… they arrive at their camp and the cannibals say “before you’re killed you each get one last request”

The scots man is first and says ‘I want the finest whisky that you can find me” he has his whisky and is killed, skinned and turned into a canoe

The English man is next, he says “I’d like a nice roast dinner” he has his roast dinner and gets killed, skinned and turned into a canoe

The Irish man is last and says “Just give me a fork” the cannibals are confused as it’s a strange last request but anyways they give him a fork. The Irish man looks at the cannibals and says “you’re not making a canoe out of me” so he starts stabbing himself with the fork