This is how much I FUCKING ADORE GIRLS!!!!!!!!

This is how much I FUCKING HATE WOMEN (r/copypasta)

So, I, (30M) woke up to an average morning in my moms (57F) basement. Me, being a madghostsor, (basically fucks tons of bitches and is 6’5 and jacked) Immediately wakes up to an innumerable amount of missed calls from all of the women that want to fuck me. (Yeah I know that’s a pretty long word I’m really intelligent)

I call my favorite one (Paula (14F) ), wipe the cum stains off my clothes, grab my best fedora (the black one), and immediately start stuffing my face as I am currently recovering from my last workout where I ran across the entirety of my bedroom in record time. She (as always) answers right before the call was about to end, so I berate her like the slut she is.

I kept going on about how I was a nice guy and how all other men treat her like shit, and how she’s lucky to even be in my presence. She began crying on the spot instantly realizing her mistake so I told her I’ll forgive her, me being the nice guy I am which I think was r/wholesome of me.

However, late into the call while I was describing my animal crossing build, she invited her cousin (Jenny 14F) to the facetime call, which made me furious at first due to the fact that she was wearing a cross (and I hate Christians) but before I could call her an idiot, hang up, and type in “not my proudest fap” in the comment sections of people mourning their dead relatives who were victims of church shootings, then sending them the link of the video on r/bestgore r/subsyoufellfor I could tell she was immediately attracted to me after she saw my gaming PC.

I told Paula to come to my house immediately or I’ll break up with her, so she arrived in less than 4 minutes.

I instantly threw myself on top of her, turning her into nothing but a fine red paste, and did the big chungus dance using whatever strength I had left from such a demonstration of brawns. I screamed for my bitch mom to go clean it up, to which she apologized for not have cleaning it up earlier too loudly, so I killed her too. The stench of dead bodies were too overpowering for me to smell the ball sweat, and week old pizza so I asked my new girlfriend if I could move in with her and she of course said yes because #1 I’m a stud and #2 why the fuck would she say no I’m a nice guy??

She of course said yes. Even though she believed in some invisible, sky dwelling, far right trump supporter I decided to show her my gratitude and not turn her into a spilled can of tomato juice on the floor, (which I was too tired for anyway after murdering my entire family r/wholesome) and I’m pretty sure I can change her mind because I’m an intellectual and great at debate so I gave it a shot.

While I played Mario cart with her she raged too hard for my liking and kept repeating lines such as “I literally want to kill myself” “Someone please kill me” “Please stop touching me” “I’m calling the police” etc. Does she not know that I was depressed before it became a thing?! I pulled out a 1911 and pressed it to the roof of her mouth, and gave her an hour long explanation as to why her little sky daddy doesn’t exist, and that after I do this everything will be black. She cried and begged for mercy, and then I said these last words…

Me (30M) :How ’bout another joke, Murray?

Jenny (14F) : No, I think we’ve had enough of your jokes.

Me (30M) : What do you get…

Jenny (14F) : I don’t think so.

Me (30M) : …when you cross…

Jenny (14F) : I think we’re done here now, thank you.

Me (30M) : …a mentally ill loner with a society that abandons him and treats him like trash?

Jenny (14F) : Call the police, Gene, call the police.

Me (30M) : I’ll tell you what you get! You get what you fuckin’ deserve!

I shot her right in the head, ate her body for sustenance, and laughed knowing that if god was real I knew I had a Christian in my group of 72 virgins waiting to be sexually tortured by me once I go to atheist heaven.

Before I left her house, I taught her little brother (5M) why he shouldn’t use tiktok (it’s mega cringe and gay), but before I could finish my lesson he started crying upon noticing the half eaten corpse of his sister. I naturally recited my favorite copypasta to him, but when I grabbed his phone to stop him from dialing 911 I noticed that he had used an emoji recently, so I only had two choices: I could either let this virgins disease spread to Madghosts, or irl downvote him.

I grabbed his shoulders, looked him in the eyes, and got close enough to his face even OP would think I was gay. Before I ripped his body in half I whispered in his ear.. “YTA, OP…” He screamed in pure agony out for mommy as I tore this little shit in two laughing even harder and harder! Before his death he started praying which made me even angrier so I posted about my day on r/copypasta and probably got around a million upvotes (yeah I know that’s a lot leave me the fuck alone slut I’m kind of popular around here okay?)

His body was so weak, OP had to hit the gym. Because these are Christians meaning they’re probably racists I went back to do establish my dominance, and belly flopped on their pregnant mom. She responded by turning into strawberry jam on the floor which was pretty r/funny. After that I sat down, commented r/quityourbullshit on every r/theleftcantmeme post ever made, and wrote this after reading about Keanu Reeves’ life story. So Madghosts, AITA?

#FUCKING #ADORE #GIRLS