Read more: https://airandspace.si.edu/collection-objects/rocket-whaling-harpoon-california/nasm_A19730997000
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*we’re whalers on the moon, we carry a harpoon*
Ya I mean…how else would they get them to work on the moon?
Some did, but the majority used standard harpoons
Carrying a rocket launcher under each arm Ahab leapt down from the bow to crash squarely into the center of the great white whale’s head. “Didn’t see this coming did you, bitch?!” he screamed as he reared back to launch both rocket harpoons directly into the leviathan’s skull.
However the old whale hadn’t survived for so long because of luck. It had a keen intelligence buried deep within its enormous cranium. It sensed that Ahab was preparing for a killing blow and knew it would have to act quickly if it wanted to live.
Expelling an enormous gyser of water from it’s blow hole the giant whale rolled onto its right side much faster than an animal of such fantastic size might be expected to move. This motion caused Ahab to lose his footing and he began to slide off the whale and fall towards the sea.
As his fall accelerated he began to flail his arms still clasping the rocket launchers in each hand. Just before he fell completely from the slick white expanse of the whale’s back his flailing arms rushed together and the rocket launchers smashed into each other like two speeding trains.
The explosion was enormous. As he fell Ahab had turned toward the ship causing the ship to receive the full force of the blast. A giant hole was created which stretched from the deck to well below the water line. It was a mortal wound. The Pequod began to sink rapidly.
As the rocket launchers had exploded they set Ahab on fire and forced him backwards directly into the exposed towering white flank of the whale. The fire was so hot it burned through the skin and deep into the blubber just beneath. Ahab’s body became embedded into the whale’s flesh where it smoldered open mouthed and dead eyed as the whale roared in pain and leaped from the water to begin a dive to the black depths below.
Just before the ship crashed down throwing all aboard into the sea the whale turned as it entered the water. Every man aboard had seared into his mind the last image of Ahab, arms splayed wide with half the flesh burned from his skull and hands reduced to rags, as he laid embedded in the whale like a hideous tattoo. Then the whale was gone and the shattering ship burst apart propelling the crew out into the roiling water.
My second shittiest claim to fame is that according to family legend, we’re descended from one of the primary inventors of rocket harpoons.
James Cameron: Write that down! Write that down! But don’t call it a whale!