Vaporeon is not the most compatible

Hey, did you know that in terms of male
human and female Pokémon breeding
Vaporeon is actually not the most
compatible Pokémon for humans? This is
a common and understandable
misconception, however Vaporeon has
t’s human on Pokémon breedability
outclassed by it’s cousin evolution
Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately
60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and
is 3’3″ tall (About a meter), making it not
only large enough to appropriately handle
human genitalia, but also light enough
to easily be lifted, and promptly set back
down repeatedly. It’s relatively small size
would also prove a tight entry, which is
always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts
an extremely impressive defensive stat
spread. With it’s combination of very high
HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it
can take a great pounding and come back
for more! It’s ability, Inner Focus, allows
it to keep slamming attentively, without
getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access
to the ability Synchronize, which allows
t to share it’s current status with you
meaning you will receive all of the pleasure
it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure
you’re getting from pounding this perfect
breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the
capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black
darkness, allowing it to effectively attend amidnight fornication session. Even if
you do manage to drain Umbreon’s
energy with all the furious thrusts
it can recover very quickly with its
access to the move Moonlight. Its
black fur is also a giant positive
attribute, allowing all the
excretions you make to be easily
seen all over its body. A great fun
fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins
in its sweat, which would in turn
soak into your member and swellit
up, making it even more sizable
and sensitive. This would not only
enhance the experience for you, but
for your Umbreon as well (Which
with Synchronize, ends up pleasing
you exponentially more). Umbreon’s
wide movepool also supports the
hypothesis that Umbreon is the best
Pokémon to
breed with. It can learn Payback,
which doubles in power after the
Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon
with throw it back twice as hard as
normally if you’re hitting it good.
Umbreon can also learn Guard
swap; it could give YOU its insane
durability, and go crazy on you
all night with your now massive
endurance.
Speaking of endurance, Umbreon
also has access to Endure, making it
practically immune to fatigue, it will
always have energy left over. Charm
is also within Umbreon’s movepool
letting it be extremely seductive
towards you, easily getting you in
the mood. Umbreon can also use
Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able
to do attacking moves such as Slam,
Pound, etc; none of that foreplay
shit, right into the action. It also has
access to Sleep Talk, giving it the
ability to not only give consent in
its sleep, allowing access to any of
its ports and any time, but also move in
it’s sleep, making it an effective 24/7fuckmate. Umbreon still has even
more great moves that good to
have while smashing, such as
Quick Attack, allowing swift slams
and bounces, which can have even
greater power if Umbreon uses
Curse beforehand. Curse would also
raise Umbreon’s defense, making it
able to take powerful thrusting for
almost any duration. Looking back,
Umbreon’s slightly small size
ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy
physical manipulation. Its ungodly
bulk allows it to take poundings
for hours on end and resume after
recovering with moonlight (Which
works even better when it’s sunny)
It’s access to the abilities Inner
Focus and Synchronize allow it
to unwaveringly throw it back and
add all of its pleasure onto yours
effectively making it twice as
amazing as any other Pokémon
or even FOUR TIMES, factoring
in the doubled power of payback
of course. All of this information
in combination with its extremely
useful movepool in the world of
intercourse makes Umbreon the
Pokémon most qualified to breed
with humans; able to take dick of
any shape, any size, in any position
easily for extensive periods of time,
while having the ability to return for
even more mere seconds later


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