What did you swear in your childhood you would never do, but ended up doing anyways?

What did you swear in your childhood you would never do, but ended up doing anyways?

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  1. Not quite childhood, but it immediately sprang to mind: kind of fucked up my undergraduate university selection process and wound up at my last-choice school VERY begrudgingly. Luckily I wound up loving it, but told myself I would not make the same mistake for graduate school. Then I made the same mistake. To doubly compound it, I’d also told myself I’d never take out student loans, and then I did as part of my graduate school mistake. Oops. Lifelong debt and regret!

  2. Pretend to be someone or something I’m not for the sake of safety, comforts, and social inclusion.

    I use to believe that the coolest people were the ones that had the courage to be themselves and pursue their dreams. No matter how hard it was. If they failed, they simply got back up and tried again. If others didn’t believe in them, they found the will to believe better of themselves. But no matter what, they never gave up, never let someone else tell them their worth.

    I had family in America. And I saw all those cheesy movies and show, heard stories and such. I thought that I could be normal, too. So I dropped everything and went there. It wasn’t long before I realized I wasn’t normal, and people could tell. So I started the whole “fake it till you make it” routine, and thus, my slow decline into madness. You ever heard the expression “some people fall, and just keep on falling…”?

    What happened? 2 decades later I woke up and realized how hollow my life became. I was on autopilot, hard-core. Before I knew it, I couldn’t do jack without someone else’s approval. I worked jobs I hated, went on pointless dates, went to stupid parties. To make it worse, I had a new set of obsessions, mainly internet, materialism, and social acceptance at any cost.

    Best part is, I have no one to blame but myself. I get to live that guilt everyday. Yay.

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