You have just purchased Twitter, what is the first policy you institute?
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I’m going to loudly declare that I won’t ban anyone before suddenly reneging on that promise and banning only Elon Musk. I honestly think it will do him and his companies some good but I’d just like to watch him seeth.
No more anonymous accounts
Your account must be tied to your legal identity.
Even if it’s a parody account of some kind…it must be linked to an actual human being’s legal identity
I’d ignore my other profitable well run company and focus on being a loser political troll.
A comprehensive statement reminding people that Twitter is a private company, banning or silencing them is not a First Amendment violation, and that racist commentary will get your account banned.
And that seditionists don’t get a personal platform. I’d put a chatbot that spews random conspiracy theories with the same profile pic. No one will notice a difference.
Delete Twitter. Nothing valuable has ever been posted to twitter
Get rid of Twitter
First policy, reverse everything Musk did.
I would basically revert the timeline back to *only* showing you tweets from people you follow, the tweets they retweet, and the occasional advertisement.
The thing that made Twitter unique and even useful in the grand scheme of social media was that it had a completely curated and sequential timeline. Even if that puts a cap on Twitter being super duper profitable, it at least makes it worth existing.
All tweets must include #fuckelonmusk
You must @ the person or the tweet will be deleted in order to achieve more directness.
Remove all community guidelines other than guidelines on threats or safety concerns and let it all play itself out.
Mandatory brain implants tweet every fourth thought.
everyone is verified and no one can tweet.
Three words for you: Taco Fucking Tuesdays!
No bots allowed.
No bots allowed!
No more 10 second OF promo. They clutter the feed
Mandatory use of 😂 emoji in every tweet to ensure a minimum level of humor.
Probably shut it down
Not just verified users, but verified tweets. If your tweet makes a factual claim, provide a verifiable citation and your tweet will get a “citation provided” icon.
Also, in addition to identity verification for users, I’d add a “subject matter expert” verification. So if someone is tweeting about a particular field or area of expertise, you have some idea whether or not they know what they’re talking about.
you can only tweet about this repost
One character per tweet every 36 hours.
A two-fold change:
First, building rent and maintenance must be paid for any necessary offices, so that they are pleasant for any employees who desire in-office work.
Second, the first Tuesday of every month is now Pancake Tuesday. In-office employees get breakfast for lunch and the PR team takes on posting a discussion thread related to breakfast.
No more anonymous accounts.
Try using ChatGPT to moderate tweets.
Maybe forcing folks to tag tweets. Serious / Joke / Info / Advertisement / etc.